Life is Pain and the Enjoyment of Love is an Anesthetic

Life will disappoint you if you let it. Set goals, aim high, expect great things but always be grateful for your experiences, both good and bad, appreciate those who came before you, made sacrifices so you have opportunities, and upon whose shoulders you stand.

A photo by Maico Amorim.

Life is a race. It’s up to you to set the terms.

Just getting out of bed sometimes is enough. Getting up at 6 a.m., exercising, walking the dog, making breakfast and lunch for the family, getting to work on time, contributing in a significant way, getting home, cooking dinner, walking the dog, and enjoying the company of your family is the ultimate day. Emphasis on the spending time with your family, exercise, and walking the dog. 

This morning I discovered an unwanted guest in our guest room…a bed bug. Or at least that’s what I think it was. Stay calm, strip the sheets, wash in hot water, put the pillows and comforter into the dryer for 40 minutes, and figure out the rest as we go. No one wants an infestation, belabored and prolonged thing but they’re called pests for a reason. They’re hard to eradicate. It isn’t the end of the world but it’s an unwanted left turn for sure.

I had a most awkward conversation last night with my 18-yr old niece. The answer to her simple request was “yes, I’ll pay more attention to reminding her of when I’m out of town.” But my expectation of being told I wasn’t doing enough and as a result my absence is wreaking havoc on the rest of my family caused me to over react and get into some deep spaces that I really needed to talk about, just not with my niece. Too heavy for someone her age and so not the right audience. She being a super patient soul and very understanding just let me go and in the end said “you seemed to really need to get that off of your chest,” which was very true.

My sister refers to me on her blog as “Extremely Athletic Sister” or EAS. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I’ve been taking stock of what I’ve managed to achieve this year, as my athletic endeavors have been non-existent. Here’s what I have so far:

  • Prepared a rental property in New Orleans for sale (about to close this week)
  • Navigated the communication tightrope of estranged aunt who who owns 1/4 of said rental property, expecting the worst but it didn’t materialize.
  • Interviewed and employed three care givers for my mother. Set expectations, hourly rates, etc.
  • Signed mom up for Medicare Part D (including the seven year penalty she owes because she never selected a plan in 2009)
  • Scheduled and attended several doctor appointments (gerontologist, neurologist, general practitioner, endocrinologist) making sure she’s healthy and on the right medication.
  • Managing all bills.
  • Applied for and received assistance for mom’s property tax, electric bill, and have meals delivered three times a week.

It helps me feel less like I’m not doing enough (wow, how backwardly written) or maybe recognize that I’m doing a lot without giving myself credit.

Along the way, I’ve tried to maintain a sense of my own balance but my husband tells me often that I’m not taking good care of myself, that I always seem tired and over burdened, and that I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

He, on the other hand, has set endurance goals that led him to injure himself twice this year requiring emergency room treatment (punctured thigh from a mt. bike fall and a broken scapula, also from a mt. bike fall).

We’ve enjoyed several lovely vacations this year, including:

  • Two ski trips
  • The Bahamas (Eleuthera if you want a super awesome get away)
  • Lake Placid (for a mt. bike race)
  • Minneapolis (this was solo, but with my niece)
  • Las Vegas
  • Scandinavia (Sweden, Denmark, and Iceland)
  • New Orleans

Vacation is an important part of life with my husband. I like to spend time with him so we go on vacation. We are fortunate to have the financial ability to go on vacation, save money for retirement, and satisfy all of our bills. Debt is not something we have, apart from the house.

It isn’t too soon to be thinking about where we want to be in the next 10 years and how we’d like to be living but that takes planning…something we do on the fly as needed.


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