I may be experiencing a mid-life crisis a bit early since I’m approaching 40 (Jan 09, make note of the date, I expect big things to happen) but expect to live to 100, I shouldn’t be experiencing this for another 10 years or so. But in life, there are only a handful of things you can actually control and apparently this isn’t one of them. There was a time post undergrad (early 90s, I was just 21) when I was chock full of exuberance, energy, optimism, and willing to put in some serious hours working for a cause. Whether it be providing customer service at IKEA (really tough) or covering really bad loans for a Japanese wholesale bank, or ordering and expediting interior design furnishings for a high end firm in Costa Mesa, I seemed to have endless drive to do good work. Even when I started working for the Executive Branch of the Federal Government, there was purpose to my work and motivation to dive headlong into it.
Lately, there is less and less of that excitement and enthusiasm to hit the daily grind and more and more reason to pursue outside interests. I’ve never been one to define myself by how I earn a living so the question most asked in DC is “what do you do”? which to me is a weird thing to ask. My answer is usually pretty diverse. I exercise almost as much as most people do a part time job, I spend quality time with friends and family, I spend time with a very loyal dog who is usually very well behaved, and I travel a great deal. How I earn a living is a totally different question with a really different answer. I earn a living doing marketing and communications for the federal government, in an area that deals with international trade. It used to be something I was quite passionate about but I think I’ve hit the peak of the drive and while its been long time to move on, where to move to has always been a mystery.
My perception is that nearly everyone who is somewhat career minded and concerned with establishing that work/life balance periodically examines the connection between what they do for a living and their core values to see if they mesh well. Currently, mine do not. I enjoy working with people, solving problems, providing solutions, helping to communicate value, and generally listening to what folks have to say and simplifying their message so that its well received. I started reading “Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow” this morning and it feels familiar in that I’ve done the whole soul searching to know who I am and where my strengths lie and I’m no closer to an answer than I was years ago when this first came up. I did the whole Artist’s Way with a group of friends, and those 13 weeks were inspirational. I made many life changes based on the experiences from that book and wondered why I’d spent so much time in therapy when the answers were all waiting to be unearthed within myself. I have the answers, I just don’t think I’m asking the right questions. I’m a bit clouded in being able to see the path to the ultimate goal of being fulfilled in career and overall life. This is a temporary state as I’m not one to rest on my past successes and be happy. Forward momentum and progress is always a desired goal! I’m still trying to discover what I’m supposed to BE when I grow up. Anyone out there got it figured out?
